Can Work Be An Escape?
Last night, I came downstairs from my home office to join the family for dinner. Shortly after dinner, my phone rang. It was a work call I’d been waiting on all day. This call was quite literally about hundreds of thousands of dollars. I had to take it.
An hour later when I returned to the family room, my eleven-year-old daughter asked me a question.
“Dad, do you always have to work so much?”
Her question wasn’t one that surprised me. Running a small business for over four years now, my days are anything but short. Saturday and the occasional Sunday work related calls are common. Nights that I don’t get home until seven thirty or after are also common. What wasn’t common was the first thing that popped into my head to answer my daughter’s question.
“You know sweetheart, working hard and for long hours actually helps to keep me calm.”
The look on her face said it all. I could only imagine that she was thinking something along the lines of — great, my dad has officially lost his mind. Seeing her confusion and possible concern, I continued sharing my thought process with her.
“I’m human too. Like everyone else, COVID-19 makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. I might do a better job not showing my concern but it’s still there. When I work, I am able to focus my energy into something productive. I’m pretty good at my job too so when I’m working, I’m feeling good about myself and what I’m getting done.”
The confusion and concern on my daughter’s face turned into a smile and a nod. She completely understood where I was coming from and how my work was actually helping me. I was happy that I was able to clear up the confusion for my daughter but at the same time, I sat there a little confused myself.
I just explained to my daughter that despite my long hours, late nights, stressful meetings, relentless pressure, and constant challenges, work actually helps me stay calm. This was something that I hadn’t even stopped to think about. As it turns out, my work is an escape for me from all of the unpleasantry and uncertainty in the world at the moment.
Work is a way for me to cope
After a bit more reflection, it turns out that while I am under constant pressure and stress in my role, these things are helping to alleviate my worry and fear I am facing (all of us are facing) outside the office. Political tension, riots, family riffs, economic woes, a pandemic, and all the other day-to-day issues families face are taking a bigger toll on me than managing dozens of people, millions of dollars, and an entire company.
What I haven’t yet reconciled is whether the idea of my work being a coping mechanism is healthy or not. In the past, travel, family outings, golf, or even sitting in a coffee shop for an hour or two writing were all ways I coped with the pressures of work. Now that most of those things aren’t happening, and the stress of everyday life is greater than that of work, my day job is the escape. I’m not entirely sure if I should be incredibly worried about this fact or if I should take comfort in the fact that work is playing so many roles (financial security, mental crutch, and personal satisfaction).
I do know that things are unlikely to change for many months to come. Living in the Midwest means lots of indoor time for the next six months. This constraint narrows down an already slim list of activities I can do to escape and refresh my mental state and overall mood. Concerning? Possibly. An opportunity? Most definitely.
Instead of looking at the next six months as a grueling journey, I’m choosing to look at it as an opportunity to complete A LOT of things. If work continues to be my “escape” and I’m able to find some peace in extra productivity, the company and I stand to come out of this long winter in really good shape. That has to be the choice. If not, and if work transitions from a coping mechanism to an agitator, well, let’s just not go there. I can’t imagine anything good coming from that scenario.
So, if you’re struggling lately with the pressures of life and the chaos that is everyday, try and take a different perspective. See if you can find some comfort in extra hours and increased productivity. Who knows, perhaps you come out of this being a step ahead of the rest as you look at advancing your career.
On a serious note, if you are struggling mentally with these trying times, please seek help. Here is one of many resources available to assist. Take care of yourself!
